So here I am, gone 01:00 in the morning on a school night, writing a blog about my inability to sleep.
I could take the view that lying there with my eyes shut, at least trying to sleep is better than giving into the blue light of my Mac. However, if I did that I would only be counting down the hours until I needed to be up. In fact, my alarm is set for 06:00. So, if I was to fall asleep right here, right now, I would be getting circa. 4.5 hours sleep. I would therefore be laying there going over in my head how tired I am going to be tomorrow, how unproductive I will be at work, how clumsy I’ll inevitably be, how much more stressful I will find the day and how training will be of a reduced quality. I am therefore effectively just putting these concerns to paper. Trying to get them off my chest.
So rather than laying there fretting, I am sat up, typing to my unidentifiable subscribers. I’ve been here before and no doubt I will be here again.
This is a side effect of trying to maintain jam packed days, weeks and months. The gram shows my fun filled days; it doesn’t show the restless nights. Nightmare.
Whilst I am exhausted, I certainly need sleep to function at work, think clearly and be productive it is also SO important for my body to recover from training, sometimes I just can’t. I do a lot of training and in theory I therefore need a lot of sleep. So, there we have a problem.
Because I know it’s a problem, I worry about it more and therefore don’t sleep because I’m worrying about that whilst also thinking about the rent review I have to instigate in the morning, the some £6 million pound valuation still sitting on my desk with an imminent deadline and the 30 new emails that have appeared in my inbox since leaving the office at 17:30. I love my job but would rather switch off at this time in the morning.
A lot of people complain when they haven’t achieved their solid 8 hours in. 8 hours would be amazing. As would be 6 hours. I would say when everything is going well for me, 7 to 8 hours is a bonus. So then when you put 3 hours into the equation for consecutive nights, it is interesting.
Whilst in theory, off season should be giving my (mind) body (and soul) a chance to recover and build ahead of 2020, my head has other ideas.
To be continued when I have put some more thought into constructive sleep content, after I have had a good night’s sleep…